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Here is a recent paper I wrote on a Biblical framework for male and female relationships.
We live in a culture that has a confused understanding of male and female relationships. Perhaps this confusion exists among all cultures and has been experienced through the generations, but it seems that in our current cultural context, human sexuality and relationships among men and women are far from the Biblical ideal and the intention of God.
There are many ways we see the implications of a broken view of human sexuality and male-female relationships, whether it be gender identity confusion, the prevalence of divorce, or promiscuity. And it is not just the prevalence of these implications that points to this distortion, but it’s the glorification and affirmation of them.[1]
Continue reading ‘Male and Female Relationships’
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As a campus ministry leader, I recognize I have positional authority in the lives of people. My title as “Team Leader” attracts certain responsibilities and certain authority from people who are under my leadership. For example, I often find people I don’t know very well ask for my advice and guidance. Positional authority or leadership is the authority we have because of the kinds of roles that we play.
Jesus engaged his positional authority throughout his life. He was often called Teacher or Rabbi. People were looking to him for leadership in their lives. What is interesting is that those who recognizes Jesus’ positional authority rarely took the guidance that he offered.
But what I find that strengthens and has a more lasting impact than positional influence is relational influence. When our influence comes from building trust and relationship with people, our influence is inevitably strengthened in their lives. Relational authority is influence that comes outside of any title or position assigned to me.
As we commit to influence people, giving ourselves to relationships is an important and key way to deepening the values we want people to catch. For example, my family has opened up our home to people in our community to “crash” at our place often—whether it is to come and hang out or even spend the night. Our desire is not to just serve people, but to increase our influence in their lives. We want to share life with them and through that process model and interpret what we believe to be Kingdom Values.
The Apostle Paul said it well to his Thessalonian friends, “So deeply do we care for you that we are determined to share with not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us.” (1 Thess. 1.8)
As our community grows, it is not as easy to be relationally related to everyone in the community. I am forced to prioritize how to spend my time in building relationships. In a growing community, it is tempting to defer and only lead through my positional authority. It has been a good exercise for me to learn how to build influence through relationships.
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